The Reason You Are the Cause of Toxic Relationships

The Reason You Are the Cause of Toxic Relationships – In a relationship, there will definitely be a feeling of boredom or tiredness with everything. But we can’t just focus on that. There will be many things that can make a relationship more meaningful when you are together. Maybe when you just broke up, you often blame your ex and feel that he made your relationship toxic. You feel your ex is immature, rude, arrogant, and doesn’t want to compromise. And that’s why you two ended up breaking up. These are the characteristics if you are the cause of the relationship to be toxic.

The Reason You Are the Cause of Toxic Relationships

1. Over-behaved

We all sometimes over-analyze our partners, but for a toxic relationship you may be doing it to an unhealthy level. Not only do you guess too much about what he’s doing, but sometimes you’re just too obsessed with what he’s doing.
Every little thing and however insignificant he may do, it is something you should describe, read and ask him about. It was crazy, but at the time, you couldn’t see how crazy it was.

2. Expectations Are Too High

Not because your expectations are high because he can’t do anything. You have a detailed list of the type of boyfriend you want. Then you feel that your ex doesn’t have the quality standards you put on that list. So at your own decision, try to shape it according to what you want. You’re the kind of person who throws away half of your boyfriend’s wardrobe because you don’t like his clothes.

3. Jealousy

Maybe he has a lot of girl friends and you hate that fact. You don’t want him to hang out with his girl friends and you want him to hang out with his boy friends enough. You can express the discomfort by yelling and forbidding him to hang out with girls.

Also Read : Types of Communication That Can Make Relationships Toxic

4. Don’t Trust Your Partner

You don’t believe him. You think people cheat all the time, even in good relationships, so you’re afraid it will happen to you. You don’t want to be someone walking around with his girlfriend who has other women out there. So you often ask him about everything like where he goes, who he goes with, and why he prefers hanging out with friends over you. Very annoying.

5. Don’t want to be wrong

He is the one who is always wrong and you are not. You feel like he can’t do things right. But when you break up and look back, you realize that you actually had a lot of faults too.…

Continue Reading

Types of Communication That Can Make Relationships Toxic

Types of Communication That Can Make Relationships Toxic – In having a relationship with your partner, you will definitely be communicating with him. There are many types of communication that you can do so as not to offend your partner, but unfortunately many people use the wrong type of communication in a relationship.

1. Likes to argue over small things

The first bad habit of communication in a relationship is that you love to argue over small things. Trivial things that should be resolved well, you guys even fuss endlessly.

Like to magnify this problem is a sign that you are not mature enough in a relationship. Remember, if the problem can be solved both, do it. Not even magnify and complicate the situation.

Types of Communication That Can Make Relationships Toxic

2. Get angry if you don’t reply to messages quickly

Hey, who likes to be angry, it’s not clear if your partner doesn’t reply to messages quickly? Yes, who doesn’t hate it when their own partner likes to receive the messages we send. However, we also have to understand that everyone’s busyness is different, and not everyone can hold a cellphone all day long.

Don’t get angry right away if your partner doesn’t reply to your message quickly, maybe he’s busy with work, is focused on something, etc. As long as communication can be maintained even though he can’t reply to your messages quickly it’s not a problem.

3. Likes to be silent if there is a problem, can’t open it

The next bad habit is like to keep quiet when there is a problem and can’t open up with a partner. In fact, openness is one way to make a relationship last forever.

However, if a problem occurs, you like to stay silent, keep it to yourself, and never tell, afraid that later there will be a miscommunication with your partner. Therefore, try to be more open, if you have a problem, talk, so that you can find a solution together.

Also Read :Things to Avoid When Relationships Are Boring

4. Can’t control emotions well

Bad habits of communication in subsequent relationships, namely, not being able to control emotions well. Slightly angry, likes to talk rudely, and can’t control emotions.

This temperamental nature is certainly very bad for the continuity of your relationship. So don’t be like that, okay, if you’re angry, try to control your emotions, there’s no need to shout, let alone rude words that can end up hurting each other.

5. Can’t be a good listener

The last point is that you can’t be a good listener. If your partner is still talking, he likes to interrupt the conversation, doesn’t respect what he has to say, and is even busy himself.

Of course it’s unethical. Try to be a good listener to your partner. Respect what is said, don’t interrupt, and listen carefully. That’s a form of respect in relationships, so your communication can go well.

We often ignore the bad habits of communication above, but from now on don’t let it go so that your relationship can go well.…

Continue Reading
toxicc

Is Leaving the Right Choice in Toxic Relationships

Is Leaving the Right Choice in Toxic Relationships – In general, everyone would want a relationship that is intertwined to make each other happy and make us grow for the better. However, if the relationship actually makes us constantly hurt, disappointed, and worthless, how so? This is referred to as an unhealthy relationship or better known as a toxic relationship. Literally, a toxic relationship is defined as a toxic relationship.

Relationships that make us feel drained, uncomfortable, and even make us constantly question our worth. Although toxic relationships can also be applied to relationships with friends and parents, in fact this term is most often used in establishing romantic relationships with a partner.

When we already have a secure attachment and are able to accept and love ourselves fully, we tend to build healthy relationships with our partners. However, when we have an insecure attachment and are not even able to love ourselves, it is of course very risky for us to enter into an unhealthy relationship. Before we move on to solutions, we need to know first what are the real signs or red flags that we are in a toxic relationship?

1. Isolation
Healthy relationships keep us connected but also free to do what we love. But unfortunately, this does not happen in a toxic relationship.

Your partner will greatly limit your relationship with the outside world, be it time with friends, parents, friends, community, and so on. Couples who are very demanding finally make the majority of our time only spent with partners. Even the saddest thing is that there is no time to please ourselves.

2. Never ending drama
In a relationship, there will always be fights. But what needs to be underlined is how we can communicate this with our partner until a win-win situation is reached.

One of the red flags of a toxic relationship is where the argument lasts for a very long time, the partner exaggerates the problem, and threatens if we don’t obey the partner’s wishes. For example: “I’d rather die if you ask me to break up”

3. Lack of trust
Mutual trust is a key in a relationship. Lack of trust in your partner will make your partner possessive, such as: asking for all social media passwords, calling once an hour to find out where your partner is and with whom, stalking, and even tapping your partner’s cell phone are certainly not a sign of a healthy relationship.

4. Constant judgment

Healthy relationship make us feel good about ourselves. But, how does it feel if you are constantly commented on, both in terms of appearance, how to dress, intellectually, education, work, even weight?

For example: “Ouch, you’re really fat. Luckily I want to be with you. I don’t think anyone else would accept you like this” or “You’re so stupid these days I don’t understand, I’m ashamed”. In addition to making us uncomfortable, it of course destroys our self-esteem and we begin to question our own worth.

Also Read : Self Healing from Toxic Relationship

5. Continues disrespect

Mutual respect will certainly make each other feel accepted and loved, but what happens if what we do feels like it’s never enough in the eyes of a partner?

For example: when we give a gift to a partner, a partner throws the gift in front of us, or when we go to the house of a partner who is out of town, the partner does not accept us into his house and tells us to go home right away.

6. Abusive

Violence in this case will take many forms, ranging from: (a) physical violence such as grabbing, slapping, scratching, and so on; (b) sexual violence such as forcing touching or even having sexual intercourse without consent; (c) financial violence such as not allowing partners to work, using partner’s money for impulsive buying, and so on; and (d) emotional/verbal violence, such as cursing, using silent treatment, gaslighting, ghosting, and so on.

After we know about the red flags, then what? Is breaking up the only way out of this unhealthy relationship?

The easy answer is, no as long as we and our partner are both committed to the process and grow to be even better. It takes two to tango. When only one person tries, in the end only that person gets hurt. However, when we both realize that something is wrong in this relationship and try to fix it, it will be worth it. How do you do it?

  • Understand that at the moment we are not okay. Give yourself time to do self-care and do things you enjoy. Realize that we are precious and whole, with or without him.
  • If you really feel that your partner is worth fighting for, you can start to make a list of each other’s behavior that makes you and your partner feel uncomfortable and even hurt.
  • Listen empathetically and don’t interrupt when someone is talking
  • When you are too overwhelmed, give yourself a break to do activities together that you enjoy, for example: watching movies together to increase bonding with your partner
  • When finished, you can make an action plan together and remind each other when the red flags are still repeated
  • (Optional) You can also do counseling with your partner to a psychologist if it is needed, you know.

 …

Continue Reading
Self Healing from Toxic Relationship

Self Healing from Toxic Relationship

Self Healing from Toxic Relationship – Toxic relationship has now become something that is often experienced by teenagers in a relationship. This toxic relationship can have a negative impact on a person’s mental health.

As a social being who is sure to have a lot of contact with people, you might never expect to be trapped in a toxic relationship. Unhealthy relationships that are bad for yourself as well as mentally. And even though you have successfully separated from a toxic relationship, it certainly takes time to really move on and get better mentally. And to work on it you can try doing a number of ways as below.

1. Try to rearrange your life for the better

The first way to move on and heal yourself from a toxic relationship is to rearrange your life to make it better. Because toxic relationships usually make life messy, so if you’ve managed to let go, try rearranging everything. Whether it’s daily personal life, career, and good relationships with the people closest to you.

2. Focus on self-development

It may sound cliché, but this method can distract you from bad memories about past relationships. Develop your abilities, learn new skills, and raise your standard of living to be better than before.

3. Let go of what has happened gracefully

Because you can’t repeat the time, and just being able to get away from a bad or toxic relationship, it’s just something to be grateful for. So if you want to move on faster then you also have to be able to let it go and don’t hold grudges.

Also Read:Communication That can Destroy Relationships

4. Don’t get in touch with these toxic people anymore

Fourth, if you really want to start a new life and heal yourself from a toxic relationship, then don’t ever have any more contact with related people. Cut your ties with them, or at least stay away and keep your distance. Because if you stay close and in touch, it will actually slow you down to get up and organize your life again.

5. Build healthier relationships with new people

You may be unlucky because you have been trapped in a toxic relationship and have had a bad experience with it, but believe me that not everyone in this world is like that. Try to build healthier relationships with new people, because that way the process of healing yourself to become energized and positive will feel easier.…

Continue Reading
Communication That can Destroy Relationships

Communication That can Destroy Relationships

Communication That can Destroy Relationships – What are the things that usually cause problems in relationships? Yes, that’s right, often bad communication habits can lead to a tenuous relationship with your partner. In fact, communication is an important factor in achieving permanence in relationships.

So, so you don’t get me wrong, know the five types of toxic communication that can damage your relationship with your partner. Could it be that you still do it often without realizing it?

1. Likes to argue over the little things

The first bad habit of communication in relationships is that you guys love to argue over little things. Trivial things that should be able to be resolved properly, even if you make a fuss to no end.

Loving to escalate this problem is a sign that you are not mature enough to be in a relationship. Remember, if the problem can be solved by both of you, do it. Not even enlarge and complicate the situation

2. Get angry if you don’t reply to messages quickly

Hey, who likes to get angry and it’s unclear if the partner doesn’t reply to messages quickly? Yes, who doesn’t resent it if your partner likes to send the message that we send. However, we also have to understand that everyone’s activities are different, and not everyone can hold a cellphone all day.

Don’t get angry immediately if your partner doesn’t reply to your messages quickly, maybe he is busy with his work, is focused on something, etc. While communication can be maintained even if he can’t reply to your messages quickly it’s fine

3. Likes to be silent when there is a problem, it cannot be opened

The next bad habit is being silent when there are problems and not being able to open up with your partner. Even though openness is one of the ways to keep relationships lasting.

But if there is a problem, you just like to keep quiet, hide yourself, and never tell a story, fearing that there will be a miss communication with your partner. Therefore, try to be more open, if there are problems, so you can find solutions together.

4. Cannot control emotions well

Bad communication habits in subsequent relationships, namely, not being able to control emotions well. A little bit angry, like to talk harshly, and can’t control his emotions.

This temperamental nature is certainly very bad for the continuity of your relationship. So don’t be like that, if you’re angry, try to control your emotions, you don’t need to scream, let alone harsh words that can end up hurting one another.

5. Cannot be a good listener

The last point is that you can’t be a good listener. If the story partner is talking about interrupting the conversation, he doesn’t appreciate what he is saying, and is even busy himself.

Of course that is an unethical act. Try to be a good listener for your partner. Respect what is said, don’t interrupt, and listen carefully. That is a form of respect in relationships, so that your communication can run well.

We often ignore the bad communication habits above, but from now on, don’t let it go so that your relationship can run well.…

Continue Reading
Know About Violence in Relationships

Know About Violence in Relationships

Know About Violence in Relationships – Toxic relationship is one of the experiences that are often experienced in relationships, this toxic relationship must of course be avoided.

Violence in relationships is something we often hear about, or even happen to those closest to us, such as relatives or friends. Generally, it is women who often become victims, but it does not rule out that men can also become victims.

When we hear the word violence, usually what comes to our mind is physical violence, such as hitting, slapping and others that can be seen visually. However, there are actually many types of violence in relationships, not just physical violence. What are the types?

1. Physical abuse or physical violence

Physical abuse is violence that involves the physical or limb that can cause pain, disability and even death. Examples of physical violence include: slapping, kicking, choking, threatening with weapons, throwing objects with things and pulling or pushing by force.

Although the violence committed does not cause pain, for example by pulling forcefully in a public place, it must be a warning, because no matter how small the violence, it is still violence that can escalate if it is not immediately ended.

2. Emotional and verbal abuse or emotional and verbal abuse

Emotional and verbal abuse is violence that is done without hurting physically, but attacks the victim’s emotions with harsh and degrading words. Examples of this violence are humiliation, intimidation, threats, accusations of cheating without any evidence and manipulation or causing guilt in the victim for actions that the victim has never committed.

3. Sexual abuse or sexual violence

Sexual abuse is an act of sexual violence in the form of coercion for the victim to have sex or other sexual activities. Examples are rape, unwanted kissing and forcing not to use a safety guard or condom during intercourse.

So, even though they have become partners, boyfriends and even husbands and wives, sexual activity carried out on the basis of coercion is a form of violence.

Also Read:Reasons for Feeling Insecure in Relationships

4. Financial abuse or financial violence

Financial abuse is violence committed by regulating or supervising a partner’s finances. Examples of this form of violence are using a partner’s credit card without permission, prohibiting a partner from working, keeping a partner’s salary and hiding it, prohibiting a partner from bringing his personal vehicle and monitoring a partner’s expenses.

5. Digital abuse or digital violence

Digital abuse is a form of emotional or verbal abuse online through social media. Examples of forms of digital violence are asking for a partner’s social media password, regulating what can and cannot be posted, arranging friendships on social media, forcing a partner to send indecent photos or videos, checking messages on a partner’s cellphone and installing a GPS with the intention of monitoring the partner. .…

Continue Reading